HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAROLINE!!!

For those of who don't know, Caroline is my bestest bud, and you can find her diary over here. We have known each other for just about fourteen years now. She's also married to a sailor (only he's an officer, so she's way cooler than I am), and she has two small kids right around Grace's age. We have lots in common.

And yes, I know too many people with December birthdays!!!

Anyhoo, let's see if I can get this entry posted before the power flickers again. It's been doing it all morning, not enough to shut off the TV (Gracie is currently enthralled by the Teletubbies), but enough to restart the computer. Tomorrow we're supposed to have more high winds, so the power may cut out then. We'll see.

Kurt called me last night. This deployment has been a little difficult for me. The other two times he's gone out for an extended time since we were married, he's gone to the Middle East (the first time) and Asia (the second time). You'd think he'd be in a lot of danger in the Middle East, but really, they're not. The last time anything happened to a US ship was the attack on the USS Cole. I feel pretty safe with him out there. It's not like he's on the streets of Baghdad having to dodge insurgents' bullets.

And for those wives who stay strong when their husbands are in such a dangerous position, I applaud you. I think y'all deserve a medal. I don't know what I would do if Kurt were in that kind of danger.

With Kurt going to the Middle East and to Asia and to Australia, there are reliable mail systems in place. I can send him a package and it will be almost guaranteed to get to him in about two weeks. He told me last night that he might not get mail before he gets back to the States, which isn't for several more months. And it's because his schedule keeps changing. One minute they're going to this port, but five minutes later they've canceled that port and now they're going to this port. And five minutes after that, they're not going there, they're going here. And so on and so forth.

In fact, he was supposed to be in port this weekend, and Kurt told me tonight the port visit had to be canceled.

He also can't tell me a lot of things. I have a vague idea where he is, but he can't tell me specifically. He couldn't even tell me if he was in port when he called last night or if he was "floating," which is what we call it when he's out to sea. He had something major going on with the ship a few days ago, and he couldn't tell me anything about it, except he'd been up for 24 hours straight and he'd managed to strain an arm muscle.

Being so out of the loop worries me. I'm used to his being able to tell me a lot more. I'm used to knowing roughly where he is and when he's coming in to port next. I am used to knowing what to expect. Now I have no idea. I don't know if he's in danger or he's safe. I don't know where he is or what he's doing. I just have to sit here and wait till he emails me.

I guess now I feel a tiny bit what the poor sailors' wives throughout the ages have felt.

It ain't fun.