Yay!! Kurt just called me, and I got to talk to him for THIRTY MINUTES!! For free!!! YAY!!

I'm so excited right now I want to go run around the block about ten times.

I think I'll get some nachos instead. :o)

Despite my best efforts, my house has resisted every attempt at child-proofing. I just don't think it was meant to be!

First it was the VCR lock. You can buy this black piece of plastic that fits into the slot where you put your tape, and it foils your toddler's best efforts at storing his favorite toy or his lunch in your expensive VCR.

My VCR is designed so that my best efforts at installing this VCR lock were foiled. It just doesn't fit!!!

Then it was the corner protectors. They're these clear plastic corners that attach with adhesive to any sharp corner in your house to prevent your kid from giving herself a black eye by running into said corner.

I attempted to install these corner protectors onto my entertainment center, which has more than its fair share of corners due to it having multiple exposed shelves. But since the corners aren't a perfect 90 degree angle, the corner protectors don't work! They just peel right off again.

The last straw was the toilet lock. Toddlers are apparently quite fascinated by the toilet and attempt to flush their toys or themselves down the toilet.

Since I have a septic tank with drain field that could easily be severely damaged by non-waste items flushed down the toilet, a toilet lock seemed to be a good idea.

Foiled again!! The toilet lock is meant for people who have a toilet lid that is flat on both sides, and mine is a plastic lid that is concave when you lift it up. Hence the toilet lock won't work!

I don't know how Grace is going to make it to adolescence if I can't child-proof the house!! :o)

No, really, I guess I'll just have to vigilant instead of lazy.

And vigilant was something I was not last night, much to my dismay. Grace was crawling around, as per the normal, and she decided to pull up using the patio's screen door. I keep meaning to tell her no because one of these days she's going to go straight through the patio. I hadn't had time to get up and retrieve her when all of a sudden, she falls backwards and cracks her head against the tile floor.

Of course she begins screaming, at which point I rush to pick her up. It's as I'm picking her up to comfort her when I notice the blood. And lots of it.

She had somehow cut her tongue when she fell, and being a tongue wound it bled a lot. I immediately drove down to the ER, where J (who'd come for moral support), Grace, and I sat for four hours to be told that she was going to be just fine, and that they typically don't do anything for tongue wounds because they heal just fine on their own. But at least the ER doctor, whom Grace really took to, was able to determine that she hadn't bitten all the way through her tongue, which I feared since she only has bottom teeth. The ER doctor seems to think one of her top teeth is coming in, although I can't feel any evidence to support that.

You can't really see the gash on her tongue; only when she sticks her tongue out. And it's pretty gross when you can see it. Fortunately now it only looks like a papercut, but it still grosses me out a bit.

Grace never seemed to be in any pain once she calmed down from the initial fright. This is a good thing. I do have Tylenol and ibuprofen to give her, should she be in pain, but she shows no signs of pain. I think she's completely forgotten about her ordeal yesterday, especially since she pulled up again on the screen door before I realized what she was doing.

But I guess this is my first notch in the belt commemorating my kids' trips to the ER. I just hope there aren't too many more trips waiting for me.