My chest has been tight all morning, but I've done a good job of holding it all together. I didn't want to break down in front of Kurt because it makes it harder on him. We're somewhat used to being separated; in the three and a half years we've lived here in Washington, we've spent probably two years of that apart. This is also his third six-month deployment since we've lived here. It's sort of old hat to me by now.
Of course, last night we didn't sleep much. We finally crawled into bed around 11:30pm and just laid there talking for a while. I believe it was after 1am that I finally fell asleep, only to wake up every hour feeling like I hadn't slept at all. Then the alarm went off at 4am, and I had to get up and get ready to go.
The winter storm that has hammered this area really pulled a number on our commute this morning. I had to take Kurt in because I don't particularly like the idea of one of our cars sitting in long-term storage for six months. We should have left no later than 4:40am, but we miscalculated how long it would take all three of us to get out the door and so were a few minutes late.
It's been so cold that they've closed the hill up to my neighborhood due to ice. We didn't realize it was closed until we got to the top of it, which meant we had to turn around and head back up the slope that leads to the hill. My poor little car almost didn't make it back up the icy slope. There were a few scary minutes where it looked like we weren't going anywhere! Fortunately Kurt managed to wiggle the car to get enough traction and we headed off.
Once we got to the ship, we found out that the Commanding Officer had decided yesterday to have liberty expire at 8:15am instead of 7:15am, which also delayed the ship in getting underway. But no one had called us to let us know of the change in plans. I wish they had; it was dangerous driving that early this morning.
Finally Kurt told me to go ahead and go around 7:15am. There weren't a whole lot of wives and families around, and he couldn't really hang out with me much anyhow. I chatted with one wife until just after 8am, but I had no desire to watch the ship pull away from the pier. I'd rather leave before they do; that way I can sort of pretend that they're still there, at least until tonight when Kurt doesn't come home from work.
I just can't believe he won't be home for six whole months. I count my blessings that he's not going to the Middle East, although catching drug runners up and down the coast isn't much less dangerous. It's weird to think that I won't see my partner in life, the father of my child, for six months. I've done it before, and I'll have to do it again.
But it doesn't get any easier.