No, really!! Nothing on me is proportionate. If one body part is large, all the rest are tiny. If one thing is small, the others are gargantuan.
It makes for a very funny looking person, let me tell you.
I had bought some jeans at Wally World a few weeks back. I'm sort of between sizes at the moment, so I bought one pair in the size smaller and one pair in the larger size. Both pairs were "petite" in length, which to my mind should be a 28" inseam. Now if I want jeans to hit me where they should, I really need a 26" or 27" inseam, but since I'm not able to find jeans large enough for my derri�re but short enough in the inseam, I make do with the 28".
The two pairs of jeans I got were actually rather long, I'm guessing at least a 30". There wasn't anything to be done; the average inseam jeans were even longer, so I went ahead and purchased them.
Not a week later, I was at Old Navy and decided to give them another chance in the jeans department (I had boycotted them when I still lived in Virginia because they weren't making jeans large enough for me). This time they had my size, and they were even in a "short" inseam. I took them into the dressing room and were shocked at how long they were. When I came out, the Old Navy clerk asked me if she could get me anything else, but I explained that the jeans were far too long, even though they were supposedly "short." She looked up on her little chart to see what the actual inseam for a "short" jean would be, and shockingly, it was listed as a 31". The "average" inseam had been lengthened to a 33".
For as long as I've been paying attention, 31" is a "medium" or "average" inseam. So who decided to make 31" SHORT???
This means I either have to hem all my jeans or walk on the hems until they're ragged. Lovely choice.
I have the same problem with my arms. I much prefer a 3/4 length t-shirt over a long-sleeved shirt because the long sleeves are so long that they come way over my fingertips when my arms are outstretched. Some 3/4 length sleeves are so long that they actually reach my wrists. And now that t-shirts are either made of a really thin cotton or have wide openings at the wrists, it's nearly impossible to keep the sleeves behind my wrists. Most of the time they end up in the water while I'm washing dishes. Then I'm all wet and clammy and cold for a while after cleaning up. Not fun.
But then some parts of me are huge. Some things I can obviously control; my tushie is rather large because I am overweight. But there are other things I can't control. Like the size of my head.
If you've ever seen a photo of my sister and me together, you will notice something surprising. My sister has a head about the size of a grapefruit (which fits her extremely petite body), while my head is about the size of a prize-winning watermelon. It's just ginormous.
How did I come to the realization that my head is so much larger than anyone else's?? I'd read an article somewhere about how to find the perfect hat, and I've been dying to have a hat to keep my head warm and dry this winter. Hats are cute! I want one!!!
I can't find one that will fit over my enormous head. The article had specified that you should be able to fit a finger or two between the brim and your head. I can barely get a hat onto my head without any extra space. When I try a hat on, I feel like my head is going to explode from the pressure build-up.
But ya know, if God did build me out of spare parts just laying around His workshop, he didn't do too badly at all, huge head notwithstanding! *wink*