No, really -- I do!!!!
See, I moved to Nebraska in late 1992, partway through my eighth grade year. I attended middle school nearby, but since the school year was already half over, I was sort of at the mercy of whoever decided to befriend me. Kids tend to make their friends at the start of the school year.
That very first day I attended middle school in Nebraska, I was subjected to a leech by the name of HI (yes, Caroline, you know who I am talking about!). Now this girl had massive issues, and I understand most of them were not her fault. But because she attached herself to me, that was the end of any possibility of my having any sort of "normal" friends for the entire school year.
Plus I was never very popular under the best of circumstances, so I was pretty much screwed anyhow.
As a result, I had a miserable 8th grade year. Boys thought it was incredibly hilarious to pretend that they liked me in order to gauge how desperate I really was. If I responded to their advances for dates and dances, they would hoot with laughter, saying, "You really thought *I* [or such-and-so] would go out with someone like YOU??" I also had one boy decide he really "liked" me so that I would always be his partner on school projects. The curse of getting good grades in school, I guess.
But I knew the school year would be over soon, and that I would start high school in the fall, which would turn out to be the best year of my scholarly career.
And through this all, I still had a really cool friend.
Her name was Caroline. We met at church. I remember the first time I saw her, she was wearing an acid-washed jean skirt with a satiny purple blouse and black flats. Hey, it was the early 90s. EVERYONE had acid wash. Amusingly enough, I thought she was at least 15, and therefore would have no interest in little ol' 13-year-old me.
But she was 13 too, just two months older than me. We were sort of thrown together as two of only three or four 8th-grade girls in our church. And since we both talk CONSTANTLY, we got along splendidly!!
Another thing that really brought us together was our home life. Caroline's parents were divorced, which isn't that unusual for someone of our generation. But the odd part was she lived with her dad! I'd never before met someone else whose father had full custody of them. For the first time, when I told someone I lived with my dad, I had no weird stares or awkward questions as to why I didn't live with my mom. She just accepted it, said, "oh yeah. Me too," and we moved on with the conversation.
We had slumber parties and hung out at each other's house, and always we had our phones attached to our ears. In fact, it was at her 14th birthday party that I saw the movie Pretty Woman (and I'm pretty sure that's the only time I've seen it), and it made me nervous because my parents had made clear to me that I wasn't to watch R-rated movies till I was 17.
Amazingly enough, we never went to the same school. Our friendship flourished even with not seeing each other except at church because we were so similar. We were also both part of the adult choir at church, me singing tenor (they had only one man, and he sang baritone) and Caroline singing alto.
We were also forbidden to sit next to one another at choir practice because we talked too much.
Then I moved away in June 1994, which pretty much broke my young heart. It wasn't just Caroline I was going to miss; that school year I had actually found my little niche and had a ton of friends.
But over the years, Caroline and I have remained friends. In 1997, her school chorus came to DC to sing at the Lincoln Memorial, and I made a huge effort (which involved navigating the Metro since my parents didn't want to drive me) to come down to see her, even though we hadn't seen each other in three years. She also got married in September of 1997, as I was starting college. My parents forbid me to go, I think because they disapproved of her marrying so young. But she's still married, nine years later, so I think she did pretty well.
She moved to southern Virginia later that year, and I hung out with her when I would visit my real mom at her home while I was in college. After I moved in with Kurt, I had the perfect opportunity to see her a lot, but I didn't really take advantage of it. I think I was so wrapped up in Kurt I neglected my other friendships. But she understood, and still loved me.
Fast forward to today -- now Caroline lives in southern Virginia again, after a stint in Texas to allow her husband to get his bachelor's degree. Her husband is now an officer in the Navy, and they have two young daughters, one of whom is practically the same age as Gracie. We have so much in common it's scary. We have very similar ideas on raising children, we're both married to Navy people, we share all the issues with being a military wife. And it's so lovely to talk to someone in Navy acronyms who knows what the hell I am talking about!!!
It's also nice to talk to someone who completely understands the complete isolation and loneliness I am experiencing. Today I was literally on the floor bawling my eyes out when Caroline called me. I don't know if she felt something, or she was just bored, but she called me, and made me feel so much better about life. She reassured me without getting deep and heavy that someone does love me, and that life does get better. She cheered me up with hilarious stories about her daughter's potty training issues, and hearing her youngest daughter's whimpering when she woke up was so precious that I couldn't resist "ooh"ing and "ahh"ing into the phone.
You just can't ask for a better friend!
This was taken in June 1997 when Caroline's school chorus came from Nebraska to sing at the Lincoln Memorial in DC. We were both 18 -- so young!!