*sigh*
It's getting bad again, folks.
Let's see... Sunday was the Mussel Fest. He'd had duty on Saturday, so that one day made up our entire weekend. Monday he got home around 8pm, and I let Gracie stay up to see her dad for a bit. Usually she goes to bed at 7:30pm. Monday was also the day we set up the new computer.
Tuesday was Kurt's birthday, and he didn't come home. He didn't finish work till 10:30pm, which really made no sense for him to come home at that point. I'm not even sure there was a late enough ferry for him to catch anyhow.
Last night he got home at 9:30pm. Grace was already in bed, and he basically got home just in time to get ready to go to bed. If I'm not in bed by 10:30 or 11pm, then I can't wake up at my earlier time of 8:30am. (I would prefer 8am, but for some reason I don't hear the alarm till 8:30, though it's been going off since 7:45am.) I was finally able to give him his birthday present, a nice watch, but we didn't have time to do much else.
And since he hasn't even called yet tonight, I doubt he'll be home. He has duty tomorrow, which means if he doesn't come home tonight he won't be home till Saturday morning at the earliest. He's thinking that they'll have to work all weekend as well, so the more likely scenario is he'll get home late Saturday night if at all.
They go out to sea for a couple of days next week too.
I'm just getting really sick and tired of this. I need a break from Grace, honestly. I have one friend here (JD) that can watch her, but she hasn't called me in a while. Normally when a friend doesn't call me it's because I've pissed her off in some way. I called her a week ago or so, and we had a great conversation, but she hasn't called me since. The most likely thing is she's insanely busy. She's just that way.
This whole situation is insane. And I'm definitely at my breaking point. I don't really see the point of being married when I have a husband I don't ever see. If we were getting some sort of compensation for this sort of separation, like the wives whose husbands are fishermen for several months a year, but then are off the rest of the time since they made so much money. When Kurt's out on deployment, he gets paid extra after he's been gone for 30 days as a way to make up for his not being with his family. Of course, the money doesn't make up for his absence, but at least the military is recognizing our sacrifice and is trying to do the best it can to make up for it.
Something I pointed out to him last night as well -- no matter how bad things get at work, no matter how knee-deep they are in work, there's always time for a little joke. There's always time for laughter when someone passes gas (because we all know how immature guys are, and how funny it is when it happens -- the stinkier, the better). No matter how crappy he's feeling about the situation, he always has someone at work to joke around with so he can forget for a moment how much this situation sucks.
I don't have that luxury. I am literally all alone here. I do have a few friends here, but for some reason they've been silent for the last couple of weeks. My only human contact comes from either my 18-month-old daughter (does that even count?) or from the mail lady or the cashier of a store if we go out.
Now before you get all worried that all I do is sit here at home and stew in my own juices, I make sure that I don't do that. Today we went to the Cabin Fever program at the rec center so Gracie can run around with all the other little kids and burn off some of her energy. Unfortunately there is a little boy there that is normally brought by his great-grandparents, and I think they don't realize they really need to take a more active role when he's playing. He takes great joy in rolling this cylinder-shaped pad at Gracie, and when he knocks her down, he keeps rolling it right over her. Also, if they're both on the little mini-gym they have, this little boy will literally shove Grace (or anyone else) out of his way so he can do what he wants. So I cut our visit short because this little boy is just too mean. It's sad too because he's only two and a half. But his mother had him when she was still a teen, and I think his great-grandparents have custody of him. Honestly I think they're just too old to have enough energy to keep up with him.
After we left, I decided to go downtown to my favorite little cafe, and Gracie and I shared a tuna fish sandwich and some pasta & veggie salad. Yum!! They even gave us a free cupcake for Grace. I gave her some lettuce to eat, which she gladly did, but when I gave her more, she ended up just storing it in her mouth. Then she sort of liquified it, and as it dribbled out of her mouth, it made green stains all over her clothes and mine. She's never hoarded food like that; how odd!
We also visited my favorite antiques store. I got a book, only I think I might already own that book. I'm not sure, though. I think I have too many books on Mary, Queen of Scots. I was also going to buy this paperback cookbook from the 1940s, but they wanted $25 and that was too much in my eyes for a paperback. If it were hardback, that'd be a different matter. I love that antiques store because it seems to specialize in stuff from the 30s and 40s. None of it is too old and too fussy. One day I'm going to get some of their antique postcards and frame them up for my house.
So you see, I don't sit at home being miserable. But it's hard to be as happy as you ought to be when your life partner is absent from your life. I noticed how much better about life I felt the day of the mussel fest, and I realized how important having my husband with me is. Unfortunately the Navy doesn't seem to agree.