And if you don't read The Daily Drivel by Art every day, you should. Just be warned that some of his news stories aren't always what they seem!!!!
On to other matters: So I was sitting here this morning, reading the latest Parents magazine, and I came across an article about how much little kids learn just by observing day-to-day life. The author was a mother of three kids, and she was concerned that her youngest was getting rather shortchanged because she didn't have her signed up for all the classes and activities that she'd had her other two kids signed up for at that age. She just didn't have the time with her youngest.
When did it become necessary for us to have our kids enrolled in all sorts of classes and activities for us to feel like good parents? I know for damned sure that I never had anything more interesting to do at the tender age of one than to ransack my sister's Barbies and chew on their heads (I have photographic proof). I also loved to play in cabinets and laundry baskets. I didn't speak fluent Spanish by the time I was three, and I sure as hell wasn't enrolled in Gymboree classes.
Would I have accomplished more in my life had I been enrolled in more structured classes and activities? Let's see what I have accomplished in my 26 short years on this planet. I did very well in school, getting nearly straight A's on a constant basis. I traveled to Kenya with my church on a mission trip when I was 17. When I was 18, I traveled to Italy with my school, where we toured Rome, Florence, and Venice, with side trips to Padua and Assisi. I was accepted to a fairly prestigious and hard-to-get-into college, where I received my Bachelor's of Science in Computer Science in four years. (That in itself is a feat; a lot of people now take five or more years for their degrees.) I became independent after graduation from college, in that I refused to move back into my parents' home. I have not asked them for money or anything else. I was married at the age of 22 and paid for most of the wedding out of our own pockets.
So do you think I could have done better if I had taken classes or been enrolled in structured activities as a baby? I don't think so.
One could look at me and accuse me of being a lazy mother. And that person would probably be right. I don't get on the floor and play with Grace every waking moment. I don't spend my days reading to her and teaching her colors and numbers and the alphabet.
What I do each day is let her figure things out on her own. I let her cruise all over the living room and play with almost anything that's out. If she wants to tear up my magazine, she's welcome to it (as long as I've finished reading it!). She's figuring out how things work on her own, and as a result she's very independent. She does get fussy when I go out of her sight, but she's getting better every day. I can set her down and run to the fridge to fill up my water glass. I can put her in her crib before she's really sleepy and know that she'll entertain herself before she falls asleep. I don't have to live at the beck and call of my child.
A few months ago I took care of an acquaintance's baby for a few days before she got regular childcare straightened out. Her daughter was a year old, but she couldn't do anything on her own. I couldn't put her down or else she'd scream. I couldn't leave the room or else she'd scream. The few times I had to run to the bathroom, I was subjected to wailing that I was sure my neighbors would hear. I had to focus so much on caring for her, that I had to ignore Gracie. After a couple of days, I told the mother I couldn't take care of her daughter anymore. I just didn't have the energy, and I felt badly ignoring Grace.
Sometimes I do feel guilty when I read about what everyone else is doing with their kids, all the playgroups they're involved with and all the classes their kids are taking. But then I ask myself if those kids could entertain themselves for a few moments while their moms called a friend or spent a few moments in the bathroom alone. I don't think our job as parents is to keep our kids entertained on a 24/7 basis. I do think one shouldn't neglect their kids, and I certainly don't. But I let Grace be independent. I let her absorb her world at her own pace instead of shoving it down her throat. I let her decide what she's ready to do, and it seems to work for us.