The thought is just a little bit frightening.
I mean, it's exciting as all hell too! I mean, the man will have been gone seven months to the day, and it's the absolute longest we've ever been apart, excepting the five years that he lived in Hawaii when I was too young for him to think about dating anyhow.
Of course, with certain past events involving an ex-girlfriend of his recently coming to light, I told him today that he just should have married me when I was fifteen, and to hell with everyone else too. That man has THE WORST choice in women.
That is, until he met me. Heh. I am so humble it's not even funny.
I just can't understand why he dated the women he did. Actually, I take that back -- I know why he did. The problem is, Kurt has the kindest, gentlest heart of any guy I know. He wanted to take care of his girlfriends (and now wife) to the best of his ability. He wanted to rescue them from their lives, not realizing that they have to rescue themselves. He had the absolute best of intentions, so you can't really fault him for that.
But his ex-girlfriends were just... too much.
Fortunately there weren't that many of them.
Anyhow, so speaking of my husband, my MIL called me tonight. I was fairly surprised because I haven't talked to her since I mistakenly called her back in July as I sat at the pool here in the neighborhood. I meant to call my sister, who's #3 on speed-dial on my cell phone, but I guess I hit #6, which is my MIL's cell phone. Of course, she wasn't supposed to remember that I didn't MEAN to call her when I did, but my FIL remembered and reminded her. I have a wacky set of in-laws.
Anyhow, I like my MIL. She and I get along pretty well. But tonight she surprised me. See, last Thanksgiving we got into a slight little tiff because I got annoyed at the two of them for back-seat driving me, so I got a little huffy at them. I thought there was tension between us, but I think I imagined it. They're not very demonstrative people anyhow, so I guess they were just being the way they normally are.
Tonight we were talking about Kurt being the "Golden Child" of the family, which he's been demoted from because he hasn't called his mother or emailed her in at least a month. My MIL also mentioned that neither of Kurt's two brothers are the Golden Child right now because none of them have called them or seen them, even though Scott lives only an hour and a half away from them.
I told her if I lived in Phoenix (they live in Tucson), I would come to see her at least once a month, saying that I'm a good daughter-in-law. Then she said in response, "What are you talking about? You're not a daughter-in-law -- you're a daughter!!"
That made me feel so damned good!!
See, my mother and my father and my stepmother HAVE to love me. It's the rule. They don't have to like me or like what I do, but they HAVE to love me.
Kurt's mother doesn't have to love me. And the stereotype is that the MIL can't STAND the daughter-in-law and says only bad things about her. But I guess I rank pretty highly with my MIL.
Then again, I AM the only daughter-in-law right now, and the only daughter at any rate because Kurt has only brothers. So I'm special there anyhow.
But back to Kurt coming home. I have been suffering for a few days from what feels like heartburn in my stomach. I've only had heartburn once in my life, and a very mild case at that, but this feels like a very warm sensation lower down, almost like I have a heating pad on my stomach. I know what it's from -- I'm nervous. I'm nervous that I'll get annoyed at Kurt for stupid crap when he comes home, and I'm nervous about his homecoming. I'm nervous about trying to get on base and park because now I'm going to have to drive down to the base instead of taking the Navy shuttle like I had planned to. I'm nervous that things aren't going to work out. I'm nervous about how we're going to get along when he gets home. I'm nervous that we're going to spend too much money during the two weeks he's home full-time.
I worry too much, I know. But I've spent the last seven months grocery-shopping only for me, cleaning house only for me, doing laundry only for me. I don't have to share the bed even, and Kurt is a notorious bed hog, even though he tries to put the blame on me. Actually, with having one dog, two cats, and a very tall husband, I don't get much room in the bed anyhow. I don't have to tell anyone where I'm going or have to be back by a certain time. And now I'm going to have to fit Kurt back into my life. I'm nervous especially because when we were first married I wasn't very reasonable and compromising, and I don't want to go through that again.
I know it will all turn out all right -- or at least holding out hope that it will be.
That's all I can do, is hope.