But this is all right. There is a reason for his being gone, so it doesn't bother me as much as his inability to come home simply because they're working so late. If we were even compensated for it, like extra money or days off, I could handle the long hours a little better too.
Fortunately I think the long hours have pretty much ended. Yes, he'll be out to sea most of every month from here till November, at which point he'll be gone on a four- to six-month deployment. But the days the ship is in port shouldn't require such long working hours, so I suppose it's all looking up.
My daughter woke up this morning with a gash across her eyebrows. I have no idea where it came from, and it looked pretty fresh when I went into her room this morning. I'm guessing she probably fell into the bars of her crib. She didn't cry, though. I still keep the baby monitor on all night, and I definitely would have heard her shrieking. She's got a pretty good set of lungs on her!
All this musing on the Navy, since that is my husband's employer, made me think about how easy you civilians have it. Now you may be thinking that I'm talking about the fact that your husbands rarely, if ever, leave for extended periods of time. No, no -- in that, I am the lucky one!! C'mon, you know you want to send your husband away for a couple of weeks or even months sometimes!!!!!
No, this is something unrelated to deployments. Now let me guess: when you all get ready to the grocery store, I bet you sit down at your kitchen table, think of a few meals you'd like to make in the next couple of days, possibly make a list of the things you need, then grab your keys and head out to Food Lion or Albertson's or Publix or Safeway. I am guessing that's pretty much all the planning you need for a trip to the grocery store.
Ahhhh, but it's not that easy when you're a military wife!!
The first thing you have to do is think about what day of the week and how close today is to payday. If it's the day before or the day after payday (and just forget about payday itself), then you know you'd just better stay home. Is it a weekend??? Again, don't waste your time.
That is, unless it's early on Sunday morning. Navy people tend to be a fairly religious bunch, so going while everyone is in church is actually a fabulous idea.
Also, what time of day is it? If it's close to 10am, which is when the commissary (what we call the grocery store) opens, then you're golden. The closer you get to the afternoon, the less likely you are to find what you need on the shelves. Don't even think about trying to buy a loaf of bread any time after 2pm, unless you want the super expensive, super healthy bread. By 2pm, the average, everyday white (yuck!) and wheat (yum!!) bread has sold out, and no one has informed the commissary that restocking the shelves throughout the day might be a good idea.
Forget about going to the commissary after dinner. The darn thing closes at 7pm! And then you have the whole bare shelves thing to deal with.
Also, be prepared to wait in line. I always have to giggle when civilians start whining about waiting in line at the grocery store for ten or fifteen minutes, especially at peak times. If I'm in line for only ten or fifteen minutes, that's a great day. Around the holidays, you can expect to wait in the line to check out for at least half an hour up to a full hour. And that's just the line!!!
The problem is not so much that they haven't got enough checkers, although every commissary could use more. The biggest problem is most Navy wives don't go to the grocery store every couple of days, like most civilians I know. Going to the commissary is such a royal pain in the ass that we only want to do it twice a month. I can remember going to the commissary with my stepmom as a kid, and she would have one full shopping cart, and I would be pushing my own full shopping cart. If it was an especially huge haul, she'd be pulling another full shopping cart behind her. Totals of $300, $400, even $500 for one trip is rather the norm at the commissary, not the exception.
Sometimes you stop at the commissary on the way home from running errands because you HAVE to get milk. Now look at the time again -- is it between 11:30am and 1:30pm? If so, don't be surprised if someone in uniform busts in front of you in the express checkout line. They have priority. Not many people take advantage of it, but it's always polite to offer to let the Commander or Captain in uniform go ahead of you. Oh, you can't read rank insignia?? Basically anyone in a brown uniform, let them go ahead.
So why do we military wives put up with such abuse from our local military grocery store?? It all comes down to money. I can spend the same amount of money at the commissary as at Albertson's, but leave with twice as much. Also, I don't have to resort to buying the store brands. I don't mind buying store brands most of the time, but some things (like real Best Foods/Hellmann's mayonnaise) just taste better. Besides, who wants to pay $4 for a gallon of milk? Not me, especially when you consider that this family consumes two and a half gallons of milk a week. Milk costs $2 for whole milk (and less for reduced fat) at the commissary.
And you know?? We wives are all a little lazy, and the baggers at the commissary not only bag your groceries, but take them out to your car and put them in your trunk for you. That's a lifesaver when you have a squalling toddler on your hands, and all you want to do is get home just as fast as you possibly can... which of course, means you can't stop for a latte on the way home unless the kid miraculously falls asleep. Granted, the baggers expect tips, but that's a few dollars here and there that's completely worth it.
So the next time you decide on a whim to stop at the grocery store, take a few minutes and thank your lucky stars your husband's not in the military. Unless, of course, you really wish he WOULD go away for months at a time!!!