GRRR!!
My friend's son ran away a couple of days ago, the second time he's done this. He and his younger sister were adopted by my friend eight or nine years ago; he will be 15 in July. He has something called Attachment Disorder, where he'd rather have his parents pissed off at him because he's afraid if he allows them to love him, they'll leave him. He does everything in his power to make them angry because of it. He is at heart a good kid, but he consistently makes bad choices. My friend has loved him through and through during all of this, regardless of how frustrated she gets, because she is his mom (giving birth does not a mother make) and loves him dearly.
She reported him as a runaway as soon as she realized he was gone. Depending on who found him and when, he'd either be released to his parents or he'd go to juvenile hall.
She thought at first that he'd caught a ferry and was on the other side of the water. There being many more people on the Seattle side of the Sound, she was understandably nervous about the whole thing because it's more dangerous over there. We live in the country, for all intents and purposes, and there isn't much you can get into trouble with over here. Unless you count our meth problem, but that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish.
He took his cell phone with him, so my friend calls up Verizon to see who he's been calling. Keep in mind that her name is the one on the account; she has one of those family plans for her husband, her kids, and herself. Verizon won't release those numbers to her without a subpoena. But she owns the account! It's not like she's calling up Sprint PCS to see who I've been calling!
She can't get anywhere with Verizon, so she called the school to see if she could get some information. She had already informed them he was a runaway so that if he showed up at school, they could notify her and she'd come get him. The school said they'd talk to some of his friends and see if they could find out some information. Part of the problem with the school is the son is a very manipulative kind of guy, and he's managed to convince everyone at the school that my friend is an unfit mother. Nothing, I tell you nothing, could be further from the truth. An unfit mother is one who stands by and allows her boyfriend to zip-tie and duct tape her sons because they are "out of control," which is what happened last week in Tacoma. My friend is a loving and caring mother. You don't spend two years practically living with someone, as I have with my friend, and not know what kind of parent they are.
Finally the school called this morning and said that a student had reported that her son was staying with a friend. So where is he staying? The school can't tell her that. Why?? They can't breach guidance counselor-student confidentiality!!! Can you freakin' believe it?! I understand where the school is coming from. They want their students to feel comfortable coming forward with information because perhaps a child comes from a terrible home, and they wouldn't tell anyone about it if they weren't guaranteed confidentiality. But my friend doesn't want to get anyone in trouble; she just wants her son back!! She just wants to know where he is so she can go get him! But here in the state of Washington, parents have NO rights. The rights of the students are protected at all costs, but the parents have no rights at all. That is what is making me so angry.
Also, what kind of parent would let a kid stay at her home without calling the parent of the kid to let her know he was safe?! I realize that my friend's son has probably filled the parent's head with all kinds of stories of mistreatment and abuse, but if that were the case, I'd at least call the police or someone able to handle such a thing. I wouldn't let the kid stay at my house without notifying someone.
My friend and her son are in counseling. She's put forth so much effort into forging a good mother/son relationship. But he continues to shit on all her efforts. I hurt for her because I know how much she loves her son, and how much she just wants him to have a good and happy life. Unfortunately, he consistently makes choices that thwart all her efforts. He doesn't realize that he's the one making his life miserable. However, I know adults that refuse to see that their lives are miserable because of their own choices. May he come to see that before he spends decades being miserable.
Damn Washington state anyhow!