But the real world is never very far from my mind. Almost daily I have to battle intense feelings of guilt that Kurt's supporting me right now. Yes, I have some cash that I have been using as needed for things that I have purchased or when we need to make payments on bills. But I do need a job... I've just been really good at ignoring the necessity.
Next month, I guess, temp agencies, here I come....
Speaking of vacations, Kurt and I had a lovely weekend getaway, despite a lack of funds. :o) That's the cool thing about living where we live -- there's always something to do, and if you have to leave town to do it, it's not that far away.
We'd had the idea to go down to Nag's Head a few weeks ago, but things just didn't work out. But on Saturday, I looked at Kurt at about 10am and asked if we could go down to the Outer Banks. Even though I've spent a good chunk of my life in this area, I'd never been to "OBX." In fact, I didn't know what those damn OBX stickers meant until I asked my friend Skittles, whose mother had one. The look on his face when I asked.... :o)
We traveled down there, took us a couple of hours. And just $2 for the toll road that just got finished.
SO different from Virginia Beach. I was rather taken aback. I was expecting hotels lining the beach with the strip of shops across the street, and lots of parking lots behind the shops. Nope -- none of that. Instead it was all beach houses, and no shops. And instead of parking lots, there were little strips where you can park at the public beach access paths. We found a spot by pure chance.
The beach was GREAT!! Having grown up on the Chesapeake Bay, five foot waves weren't the norm. And here I was playing like a little kid in the surf, getting buffeted about by the waves and losing the top half of my swimsuit about one wave in four. :o) I didn't want to get out of the water, but Kurt got cold. He was also teasing me and telling me that that was nothing in comparison to Hawaii, to just wait till I got there and played in the waves in the Pacific. Man, I can't WAIT!
You know what? I think finally I have been able to put behind me a lot of the things that went wrong this past semester. I still don't know why it happened, why I was targeted, or even what exactly happened. All I do know is that I was very hurt by those I thought were my friends.
All summer I've been fretting about it. Wodnering what I did wrong, what I could have done to prevent, why it seemed like one day everything was fine and the next I was invisible. I don't really want to bring it up with those involved because I don't want to open barely-healed wounds. I doubt anyone really knew the hell I went through just before graduation. Well, a few did.
I suppose I should be thankful, for now I know who my true friends are. Miss Liad, she who knows precisely what I was going through because she was going through exactly the same thing. She who kept me sane through trips to Tequila Rose for the Tequila Surprise dinners with jumbo margaritas during happy hour (chicken surprise, anyone?!?!). She who was always there for a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen with.
And Erin, who trusted me with some things she generally doesn't make public, even though we were still brand new friends. Phil and Wes, who love me with all of their generous hearts and told me they will always have a spot in their apartment for me. Benjamin, who has been there since tenth grade through thick and thin, at least between trips to the Far East. :o)
And as always, my dearest Sandia, una parte de mi corazon, ahora y para todo tiempo.
Because of these people I was able to weather the issues I was having. I know who to love and who to trust now, and for that, I thank all of you.